Ok, so, I need to rant and vent a bit. Now, I haven't seen my daughter in about 5 years. She lives with her mother, and is going to be a Jr at Illinois Wesleyan College. Various aspects of life have kept us from seeing one another, long story, not for this post. Anyway, for months, my wife Joyce, myself and my 19 year old daughter have planned a visit. Amanda (daughter) flew out here on Friday, July 2, then we drove to Disneyland Saturday (she'd never been so I THOUGHT she was excited). So what does she do the entire 5 and a half hour drive? Text message her boyfriend, her mother, her step father, her friends, back to the boyfriend, then the mother again, then...well, you get the picture. Ok, so not a huge deal. Then, we check into the hotel and journey to the Happiest Place on Earth...what is that she's doing? TEXTING! :mad2: Our entire weekend at the Park and she's got her face burried in her phone. Not enjoying the Park it seems. Then, I look all around me and notice, probably about 80% of everyone in the Disneyland Resort is texting. What the heck happened? I'm no technophobe, but come on! What is so important that you HAVE to constantly text message, even in Disneyland? And yes, before you say anything, I did mention my consternation to her but to no avail. I figure, I haven't seen her in like, forever, why alienate her? My point is, I just don't understand what is so important that we have to always stay connected to everyone? Why not put your text messaging on hold for a bit? I'm kind of disappointed in people - can't just enjoy life. It's kind of like in WallE. The people in that animated movie are just what we're going to evolve into. Our faces stuck inside some view screen "chatting" "texting" or whatever so much that we don't even know the ship has a pool! My :2cents Al
I feel your pain. It's really crazy sometimes what I see people doing and where. On Lynn's recent trip here, some guy on the bus portion of the trip was talking on his cell the whole time right near her. I guess it would have been better to have been texting, but come on people, have some manners. And when you are out with someone, pay some attention to them - and not someone on your phone. Geez!
Preach it, brother! I don't even like my cell phone. I don't text and I don't tweet. Hell, sometimes at home I don't even pick up my phone if I am doing something else. I LIKE TO BE LEFT ALONE! I spend more times outside in the real world than just about anyone I know, completely disconnected, often sweating a lot. :)
My 21 year old brother and 18 year old sister are chronic texters and tweeters. I have yelled at them in the past and may initiate beatings if the trend continues.... ;)
I think many younger people are just more insecure than us guys. They need that constant feedback from texts, calls, tweets, etc. to help them feel important. We don't need that - we already know we are important. ;)
So true Rico. I realize I'm about to sound like an old man, but I truly think this younger generation must be connected 24/7. And maybe you're right, they need to feel connected virtually because they don't know how to connect face to face. Sad really. And if you try to intervene...."GAWD DAD! You're SO OLD! You just don't understand!" Yeah? Well, YOU don't understand. I just spent $150 on your PARK TICKET! ENJOY THE ##^)*& PARK! :)
Here is the problem. While I totally agree with you that it can get out of hand, they are enjoying themselves. If texting is their way of having fun, do what I do and just nod and move on with the day. I was on BBSes for hours back in the day, then emails, and instant messaging when it was rolled out. We all have our vices on how we want to communicate, be it on a phone call, forum, IM, text, face to face, email, or regular mail.
I didn't get why you would take 20 minutes to type a conversation that could be spoken in two, but it convenient. You can say something, do something, then pick back up on the conversation with no breach of etiquette. Pausing for ten minutes in the middle of a live conversation is usually frowned upon.
I'm actually for texting because it seems to be helping raise the literacy levels in America. That can't be a bad thing. When schools have failed, there's texting and peer acceptance that are pushing people to read more and understand that reading.
In the end, I just shrug and nod.
Except for the fact that when texting, they employee this crazy form of short hand so I'm not sure how that is advancing reading comprehension and literracy.
wut? u dun lik my txtng? LOLOMGROFL!!!!!1!
I'm someone that likes being connected as much as possible. I also spent hours on BBS' and the like. Just the way I am I guess.
Quote from: Bryancd on July 07, 2010, 11:35:53 AM
Except for the fact that when texting, they employee this crazy form of short hand so I'm not sure how that is advancing reading comprehension and literracy.
Not everyone uses texttype and even with texttype, they are showing improvement. Here is a link to an article from last year in the UK. I know that the US has also done studies that has shown improvement.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7910075.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7910075.stm)
I don't think it's very good manners to text a lot or even make a long call when doing something with others. If that's what the person really wants to do then why are they out with you in the first place? As for helping with literacy, I have my doubts. I think reading more would help just as much - if not more.
Fran gets mad at me constantly for fiddling with my phone when we're out to dinner (alone, not with others of course). We have a deal that I can check in on foursquare or Gowalla then it goes away.
I think it's mostly the younger generation using the textish language. However, while I do agree with you Just X, because I love my iPhone and the ability to send a quick text when I don't feel like talking, the line must be drawn somewhere. I mean, a weekend for 3 at Disneyland is not a cheap treat. And you'd think that a daughter that hasn't seen her father/step mother in at least 5 years would actually want to spend time with them. I know that it's as much my fault. I could have put a fast stop to it, but that would have created a very tense vacation, then everyone would have been frustrated and upset instead of just me. I guess what I'm getting at is that texting/cell phone useage has it's place for sure. I'm pro technology but while this technology is helping advance our society, it's also helping to separate the family unit. I know I may be delusional but I really think that we need to harken back to the age when families ate meals together, talked (face to face) with one another. I think if we KNEW our kids, and knew what was going on with them, there'd be fewer guns in the schools-drugs found in lockers-missing child situations. Al
My concern is the insulating nature of technology and how it limits and retards human direct interaction. Who knows what the unitended consequences of that will be.
So true. 100 years from now...we'll be having "relations" like they do in the movie Demolition Man!
I love my social media (Twitter, facebook and such) and I'm almost 40 and I don't think it's because I lack people skills or the ability to communicate face to face.. I do it because I like it. I'm a busy guy and this is one way that I can keep in contact with my friends (real and virtual) and family. I also have a podcast that requires me to keep up to date with all the new media dodas and such. I do enjoy texting when I'm in a hurry and don't want to talk on the phone, which normally leads to long conversations.
I agree that some folks take it to extremes and there is a time and place for texting and such, but that doesn't make all those who text inept people.
I hope no one thinks I meant in any way that people who use this stuff are lacking in abilities (although I think maybe a few are). I certainly use some of this stuff too. But there is a time and a place for it - and not when visiting with friends or relatives for the most part - IMHO. Unless it's just a quick message or call. Oh, as an aside Michigan just passed the no texting when driving law (do we really need a law for this??).
Here in Ontario we aren't allowed to have hands on a mobile device while driving. That means texting, talking or even dialing. Handsfree sets and voice dial only.
With regard to being with company, obviously (in my mind at least) obviously the people in front of you should take priority over 'virtual' people. With others around I usually only whip out my phone to show people a video or look something up that's relevant to the conversation. Using a device among friends CAN have a place, but it should be contributing to the situation, not distancing you from it.
While I get what you're suggesting about there being a time and a place, I think I have to somewhat disagree with that. There has been a pretty stable code of manners when texting that has been building up for some time. While some might not agree with the way the new generations conduct themselves, there is a method to the madness. Things change. 30 years ago people would gather around the dinner table for dinner together. Today, a majority of families don't have the nightly sit down meal with the family.
Texting is a valid means of communication for the people that are using it. Their friends are right next to them in cyberspace. It would be akin to you telling someone of an older generation that they can't talk to the friend standing next to them while they are walking down the street.
In regards to the Disney trip. I understand the costs involved, but at the same time, you said you hadn't seen her in a while. Reaching out to her friends probably made her feel more comfortable being there. She was doing stuff with people that she hadn't seen in a long time and might have needed to have the familiar still around her. She might have also wanted to share what she was doing with those close friends. I think that the distance that was created really must have hurt, but it's a small price to pay to see your kid again, right? I did have one other question. Did she want to go to Disney or did she accept that she was going? The latter might give cause to being buried in her mobile device.
As to the law, yes we need it. People that text while driving are dangerous. For some people to not do something, they need a law there to show them it's bad. Those that are going to do it anyway will still do it, like drunk drivers. Some idiot always thinks that they are fine and don't have a problem.
Quote from: Rico on July 07, 2010, 12:40:24 PM
Oh, as an aside Michigan just passed the no texting when driving law (do we really need a law for this??).
I heard on the news a couple of days ago that our local police dept here has now made it an official rule that officers are not allowed to text while driving their squad cars. Apparently they needed to be officially told not to do it.
As for what happened on your vacation Quadshot I believe you followed the correct course of action. You let her know that you weren't happy about it but you didn't make yourself the bad guy by making a scene and insisting that she put the phone away. That probably would've ruined the afternoon for all of you. At least this way someday you can laugh and give her a hard time when she's an adult and complains to you about how her kids never put their damned phones/games/devices down.
Kenny,
The key to what you stated is that you're almost 40...you've already (hopefully :)) learned social skills and how to apply them. But teenagers, and yikes, even younger, are burried in their social networking and texting. No face to face contact. What type of social skills are THEY learning? I fear they will lack any real social interaction skills as they grow up. How will society develop in the coming years if all anyone will do is text, Twitter, Facebook, whatever? I have nothing against these things, but there has to be a limit. Like I said in my original post, I experienced this first hand with my daughter. Every time I asked her a question about anything, all I get is very short answers with little or no enthusiasm. I know no more about my daughter after spending a weekend with her than I did before. I truly believe that her obsession with text messaging and the need to be in constant contact with everyone (well, everyone but me :)) has left her socially inept. Unable to figure out how to interact with me. Oh well...that's why we have Treks In Sci Fi...to get us through these tough emotional times! :) Thanks Rico! Al
Quote from: Just X on July 07, 2010, 01:02:16 PM
In regards to the Disney trip. I understand the costs involved, but at the same time, you said you hadn't seen her in a while. Reaching out to her friends probably made her feel more comfortable being there. She was doing stuff with people that she hadn't seen in a long time and might have needed to have the familiar still around her. She might have also wanted to share what she was doing with those close friends. I think that the distance that was created really must have hurt, but it's a small price to pay to see your kid again, right? I did have one other question. Did she want to go to Disney or did she accept that she was going? The latter might give cause to being buried in her mobile device.
It was actually her choice. She wanted to come out here, even though I don't really have any vacation time, and we gave her the choice between spending the weekend at the beach in San Diego or Disneyland. Al
Quote from: ChadH on July 07, 2010, 01:49:31 PM
Quote from: Rico on July 07, 2010, 12:40:24 PM
Oh, as an aside Michigan just passed the no texting when driving law (do we really need a law for this??).
I heard on the news a couple of days ago that our local police dept here has now made it an official rule that officers are not allowed to text while driving their squad cars. Apparently they needed to be officially told not to do it.
As for what happened on your vacation Quadshot I believe you followed the correct course of action. You let her know that you weren't happy about it but you didn't make yourself the bad guy by making a scene and insisting that she put the phone away. That probably would've ruined the afternoon for all of you. At least this way someday you can laugh and give her a hard time when she's an adult and complains to you about how her kids never put their damned phones/games/devices down.
Chad, so true! I WILL be making a mental note so when HER kids won't put away their...holographic communicators :) I'll be saying....BOOM! HA! :P
I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.
Bryan...well said brother.
Quote from: Bryancd on July 07, 2010, 04:05:16 PM
I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.
Our parents also had far less close friends than most people do today. I don't remember the exact averages, but it's a huge difference these days.
Quote from: Bryancd on July 07, 2010, 04:05:16 PM
I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.
Please don't presume to know my life Bryan. And you don't have to accept "we are all too busy" argument.
That's the great thing about free will.. we can live our lives as we see fit. Love texting.. hate texting.. love social media.. hate social media. To each their own.
Quote from: Geekyfanboy on July 07, 2010, 06:43:20 PM
Quote from: Bryancd on July 07, 2010, 04:05:16 PM
I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.
Please don't presume to know my life Bryan. And you don't have to accept "we are all too busy" argument.
That's the great thing about free will.. we can live our lives as we see fit. Love texting.. hate texting.. love social media.. hate social media. To each their own.
Who's this "Will" character, and why is he free? Is this the same Will that Picard is always shooting at? You know, Fire At Will? :)
I didn't mean to inspire a heated debate on societal norms, honest. I just wanted to vent to you guys and gals whom I've grown to enjoy "talking" with. I think this virtual community of sci-fi geeks (yep, me too) is a wonderful place to vent and speak our minds.
And yep Kenny, we should all live our lives as we see fit. Dead on right brother. I do like texting, not in love with the whole social media thing (Twitter, Facebook, etc), but that's my preference. Perhaps it has something to do with age? I'm 45...proud of it (well, because even if I'm NOT proud of it, doesn't change my age!) and maybe just shy of the wrong side of the techno-craze to love every aspect of it. It sure has it's place in the world, I won't deny that, but in the context of my original post, I think there should be limits. Family time should be family time. One of my deepest concerns is that with your face and attention buried in the texting device of your choice, you're missing the world all around you. Including the dangers that may lurk in every corner. If you're so busy concentrating on your text message, you won't see the attacker coming at you. Paranoia? Probably. Anyway, thanks to you all for allowing me an outlet for my frustrations and disappointments of late. You all ROCK...but remember...There Can Be Only One (cell phone provider!) :) Al
Quote from: Geekyfanboy on July 07, 2010, 06:43:20 PM
Quote from: Bryancd on July 07, 2010, 04:05:16 PM
I don't accept the "we are all too busy" argument, though, so we get a pass from having normal, face to face contact with people in our lives. We certainly can make our lives VERY complicated and inundated with information thanks to technology, but our parents and their parents and so on were just as "busy" as us and somehow manged to stay in touch with those they loved. Why? because they CHOSE TO MAKE THE TIME to make the time to do it. technology becomes both a crutch and and excuse.
Please don't presume to know my life Bryan. And you don't have to accept "we are all too busy" argument.
That's the great thing about free will.. we can live our lives as we see fit. Love texting.. hate texting.. love social media.. hate social media. To each their own.
Wow, that's a very surprising and unexpected response, Kenny, especially coming from you. I simply voiced my thoughts, I didn't judge, just offered my opinion. I thought you knew me better than that. :(
Quote from: QuadShot on July 07, 2010, 10:10:49 AM
Ok, so, I need to rant and vent a bit. Now, I haven't seen my daughter in about 5 years. She lives with her mother, and is going to be a Jr at Illinois Wesleyan College. Various aspects of life have kept us from seeing one another, long story, not for this post. Anyway, for months, my wife Joyce, myself and my 19 year old daughter have planned a visit. Amanda (daughter) flew out here on Friday, July 2, then we drove to Disneyland Saturday (she'd never been so I THOUGHT she was excited). So what does she do the entire 5 and a half hour drive? Text message her boyfriend, her mother, her step father, her friends, back to the boyfriend, then the mother again, then...well, you get the picture. Ok, so not a huge deal. Then, we check into the hotel and journey to the Happiest Place on Earth...what is that she's doing? TEXTING! :mad2: Our entire weekend at the Park and she's got her face burried in her phone. Not enjoying the Park it seems. Then, I look all around me and notice, probably about 80% of everyone in the Disneyland Resort is texting. What the heck happened? I'm no technophobe, but come on! What is so important that you HAVE to constantly text message, even in Disneyland? And yes, before you say anything, I did mention my consternation to her but to no avail. I figure, I haven't seen her in like, forever, why alienate her? My point is, I just don't understand what is so important that we have to always stay connected to everyone? Why not put your text messaging on hold for a bit? I'm kind of disappointed in people - can't just enjoy life. It's kind of like in WallE. The people in that animated movie are just what we're going to evolve into. Our faces stuck inside some view screen "chatting" "texting" or whatever so much that we don't even know the ship has a pool! My :2cents Al
Welcome to being a young adult in a digital age. My parents have the same views on this social networking and texting thing as you do and I get it. I mean does she text you when she's back at home? Look at it from her point of view, she's away from her friends etc and she wants to stay in contact with her boyfriend. Yeah, it'll drive you nuts, it drives my folks mental when I used to text my ex boyf a hundred times a day (not an exact number of texts) and I text my mates from Uni a lot too.
Young adults (me included) and teenagers are spoilt in regards to keeping in contact with people. We have all this technology to keep in contact with people, and I guess we abuse it. I have all my mates numbers, facebook pages, twitter and email so we can always chat, I know it's daft but it's something that near enough everyone does.
Talk to your daughter. She's nineteen, when a girl hits that age, they turn into reasonable people for the most part. Just say that you haven't seen her five years and you want some quality time with her, minus the texting. She'll get it. It'll take a while but she'll do it. You're her dad, daughters (as a general rule) always listen to their fathers. :)
To pull this back in a bit, I think some of this has gotten a bit off track and maybe not quite understood as intended. As an example, you guys know I have two sons. Both have had phones since they could drive (for extra safety - not texting while driving - lol). And I've never seen either one of them use them like I see some people do out at malls, the movies, etc. They might get a quick call or answer a text quickly but that's it. I even remember my older son Stephen ignoring a girl who kept sending him texts while we were out having lunch. I think everyone handles this new tech a bit different. But here is the thing for me. I try very hard to respect and pay attention to who I am with and Lynn and I have taught our boys the same thing. Occasionally I've gotten a call when out and if it was important I excused myself and took it. But generally I don't and let the phone pick it up. You guys know I love tech and gadgets, but I use them in moderation. If other people feel ok with texting away while they are out with others, I guess that is their choice. But those are not really my type of people I guess.
One last little example. When I was in Taiwan, cell phones and computer cafes were everywhere. These people love their tech - especially the younger crowd. However, when we went to dinner and did some sight seeing with a couple of people from the company (quite a bit younger than me) I never saw them pull their phones out once. And we were out for awhile. Anyway, just my thoughts and opinions.
Atlantis, I do understand the need for her to stay connected. But I just don't like it, I mean, I understand the need to pay taxes, but I don't like that either. Just because we can understand something doesn't necessarily mean liking it goes hand in hand with it.
And Rico, you are right, we've kind of drifted off the main point here, which is natural and fine really, but bottom line is, there will always be two sides to this coin: Those who see nothing wrong with texting 24/7 no matter whose company you're in, and those of us who are right :) JK. It's an age old story. Rico, I guess you and I are approximately the same age (or close to), and we think a lot a like. I LOVE tech, but feel WE need to control IT, instead of us allowing it to rule our lives. I mean, have we learned NOTHING from John Connor? :) Al
Basically I think it comes down to a question of manners and what people deem as acceptable behaviour. My (simple) take on it is this:
If you are stopping mid-sentence to tweet or text or whatever in conversation with someone in front of you, that is not really acceptable. Proximity = priority. While texts and emails do arrive instantly, there is no inherent need to answer right away. If I answer your text right now or in 5-10 minutes, it won't really affect the sender one way or another. Face to face communication is real-time, socially we are conditioned to react to what is in front of us before anything else. If you ask me something and I only look at you 10 minutes later, that doesn't make much contextual sense.
If there is a break in conversation or the 'electronic communication' has relevance to the current face to face interaction, then feel free.
There is no single set of rules that govern social interactions, what I think is good manners does not necessarily match up with anyone else's. Socially there are regional norms but it really depends on how you personally interpret specific actions and behaviours.
Well put billybob...well put
sorry I haven't replied to this thread, I've been texting. ;)
Quote from: moyer777 on July 08, 2010, 09:27:28 AM
sorry I haven't replied to this thread, I've been texting. ;)
HA! Rick, you crack me up buddy! :P
What a cool thread lol. OK so here is my two pence worth ( or cents if you are that way enclined ) I do not take my mobile phone on vacation with me. I leave it here. I do not want to be contacted when i am away. I don't need to read emails, text and if i need to phone i will use a pay phone. I do text, in fact I'm not a fan of phone conversations mainly because i am a bloke and my general chat is "Pub, yeah 8pm cheers". As for text speak, yes i too find it annoying but, and i hate to say this its a sign of evolution of language. I no longer say thy hath no time sire, buy i have no time sir. Same sentence just a different way.
I will say this i detest the following. talking loudly whilst on public transport into your phone, texting with sound and playing music via phone on public transport. I do think its rude when you are with other people and feel the need to have your head buried in the screen, and i hate to say it I have done that but i have apologised to the person first before i reply and i will reply if its important.
I for one agree on many different levels due to my age. However, since I have not had a smartphone yet, I do not have the joy of doing Twitter, Facebook, Email and etc all on the road. My iPod touch ironically limits and unlimited me. Since I am restricted to a decent Wi-Fi signal, I have to wait till I'm in a good area for it. IE: When cell-phone reception really sucked. In fact, whenever I have a kid (in the long distant future), he'll probably get an iPod touch. Or similar. Simply because it puts a limit on what he can do and I don't get exasperated over it.
The texting thing is this, if it interferes with normal conversation and puts you in your own world when out and about with friends, it is indeed quite rude. I've only found it aggravating at theaters, dinner tables, restaurants and quiet events. The rest of the time I couldn't really care. It just happens and I've gotten way used to it. If I were in the same position as Quadshot, I probably wouldn't mind at all as long as said daughter did pay attention to what I said. *GAH, I SOUND OLD*. :P The rest of the time is up to her. I really don't like it when ppl put a stigma on doing things like this. But there is a point where too much, is too much. She may have crossed that line. It's hard to say.
I myself might be getting rid of texting here soon. Why? Because Twitter/Facebook/Email is available on my iPod touch (and maybe iPhone soon??) for FREE. This is still a debate I'm having with myself, but I rarely find myself texting a lot.
King
I find it a bit funny that I have free unlimited texts on my phone plan yet I rarely ever send one.
Hey billybob, you can always send me texts! :) I have unlimited too but am the same. I typically only text my wife.
I usually text my friends in Montreal. I WOULD text my wife if her phone wasn't always dead at the bottom of her purse. Grrrr! :)
I want in on this texting action. My number is 360-581-3060. Please text me!
I'm a serial texter it's bad but I don't text whilst eating, or in conversation with people that I'm with, usually. Thankfully, I have unlimited texts, though I got a letter from a research group asking me to take a survey on texting. Apparently O2 (network provider) put my name forward. I don't know whether to be flattered or not :confused
Hmm, a survey on texting. Me thinks perhaps thoust doth text too oft? :)
It depends. I generally can go about three days without texting or receiving texts. There are the days when everyone wants to talk to you, today being one of them! In comparison to my sister, I think I'm okay-ish...
Ah, but we're always the last to recognize our sickness! :blink
D'you think there is outreach programme for people like me? Is there a cure!?
Well, none have been mainstreamed yet, but we are working on a cure that involves shock therapy, caffein and a 24 hour Heros marathon! :)
thanks for the text Al. It made me lol!
IMHO it was my pleasure. TTFN, GTCB, Late...LOL :) (See, I'M hip to the textese too!)
Quote from: QuadShot on July 10, 2010, 10:10:34 AM
Well, none have been mainstreamed yet, but we are working on a cure that involves shock therapy, caffein and a 24 hour Heros marathon! :)
Does it have to be Heroes?? Can it not be something like Buck Rogers or Space 1999?
Oh nooo, has to be something that will help recondition..!
Well Heroes isn't the way to go with me... Sorry but it'll make me confused
I'd text you Rick but I'm not paying international rates!
Had an epic three hour text conversation with my best mate from uni Thursday. Thank you O2 for unlimited texts
Wow! How did I miss this thread?
Okay so I can't resist but through my hat into the ring. I am going to be 50 years old in three weeks and I can tell you that being an avid texter has nothing to do with age! LOL
I do agree that texting while involved in a social function (like dinner, a party, a meeting, etc) is pretty rude. But I have to admit that when my wife, son, and I are out to dinner, it has occurred that we are all three active on our devices (Christi and I on our iPhones and Ryan on his DSi). But that does not last too long because, let's face it, I love to talk to people! LOL
As a youth minister and father of three kids (two with cell phones), I can tell you that I am texting throughout the day. I find that kids are just more comfortable texting things on a 'just in time' basis. They think of something that needs to be shared, debated, or taken care of and they immediately text it out. Partially because that way they don't forget, partly because they can get faster responses from their community of friends, and partly because it is cool.
I think the issue is complex. People text because it is convenient. They text because you never know the circumstances of the receiver (e.g. they are in class, in a meeting, or someplace where voice is inappropriate). They text because the conversations tend to stay more on topic (less tangents). They text because they can refer back to the responses rather than rely on their memories of a vocal conversation. You name it...
Sometimes they text because it is 'safe' (when perhaps they don't feel comfortable having the conversation face-to-face or on the phone for fear of confrontation). It is easier to send/receive unwelcome news via text than it is when you have to see/hear the emotion from the other person.
I would have been a little upset myself if my daughter was texting instead of relating to the family during the drive. Given that you two have not seen each other in such a long time, I would imagine there was a certain level of anxiety on her part so keeping in touch with her friends might have been a source of comfort for her while she was figuring out the dynamics. Of course, not talking would make it that much more difficult to build the comfort level so burying herself in the device would be somewhat counter-productive towards that end.
our whole podcast this week is on this subject. Prett cool.
RickPeete,
I do understand the "why" of why she spent so much time texting, without sounds pompous, I have a BA in Psychology and really enjoy the "whys" of what people do...as long as it's OTHER people LOL! I get that she was most likely uncomfortable, as was I. And for some strange reason she's a jock (excellent one at that) and is pretty reserved in the emotion department. So, she never really expressed any discomfort, joy, excitement at being at Disneyland (holy crap, could she be MY daughter then?? :)). It's just tough when all the stuff you read about, see in the news, about families being more and more distant with one another being your family. Thanks for the comments! Take care, Al